Posted by: stacie2147 | June 23, 2010

Long Overdue Update on TTC

My last post told of my cancelled FET due to the threat of OHSS.  When we were finally healthy enough to attempt a transfer, it didn’t work.  Neither did the second FET.  Then, to pour salt on the wound, our 3rd FET was cancelled because none of the remaining 5 frozen embryos surviving the thaw.  I didn’t realize just how painful the whole FET failure was to me until I tried writing about it, so I stopped.  I could not bring myself to share the journey anymore – although this blog has been extremely personal, I was still too raw emotionally to continue posting about our infertility struggles.  In hindsight I wish I had because the next fresh IVF cycle for us was successful!  It went like clockwork that time, everything seemed to fall into place although I was still shocked at the outcome.

I chose not to blog about the pregnancy because I was paranoid I would jinx it somehow.  If I thought it was difficult to deal with embryos that did not survive, I could not imagine how it would be to deal with a miscarriage or stillbirth.  A few complications have come up, although in general I’m healthy and no longer worried about losing my baby.  I believe this will be our one and only child, so I’d like to remember the good parts of the pregnancy and not have a blog remind me of the additional struggles I’ve been through.  I apologize for being selfish about this part; I know that many people may have been inspired to know that we finally triumphed over infertility.  I also know that many people would be able to relate to my pregnancy and offer advice and encouragement, however I just could not open myself up emotionally anymore.  It’s been a difficult year for other personal reasons so I hope you understand.

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant so that journey is quickly coming to an end.  Perhaps I’ll start a new mommy blog when the baby is born?  Until I do resume blogging, I wish everyone that is TTC the best of luck and lots of baby dust!


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